ok so I just made up a really funny sexual pick up line!
“Are you a genie in a bottle? Because I want to rub you!”
I don’t know if anyone has made this up yet but I found it funny

look and read here!

ok so I will start writing/ typing imagines for you guys! send me your name, the boy(s) of your choice, and a scenario and I will try my best to create it for you!
- Lani 🐍

Do you have a saddle?

a/n hey guys! so this is my second imagine and I like doing those parody imagines so here we go!

So you and your boyfriend of 2 year, Jack Johnson, were laying in bed. It was about 10 o’clock in the morning and you guys were having a lazy day. You both were sitting up and he had his arm around your shoulders and you were relaxed on this chest. The television was on which was showing a movie on the channel spike.
” Hey JJ?” You said.
You liked to call him that for short, even though he didn’t like it.
“Yes baby?” He replied.
” I wanna ride a pony!” You said in a happy tone.
“Ok. Why now?” He said with a sigh.
You ignored his question. “Do you have a saddle?”
“No, I don’t think so-” he said.
You interrupted him “Wait lemme see if I have one”
You got up and went to the bathroom. You got under the sink and pulled out a condom and ran back to the room.
” ok I have one” you said while standing in the doorway holding the condom out in front of you.
“Wait… What?” JJ replied.
“You have a pony and I have a saddle” you said really fast and straddled his waist.
“Oh! I get it now!” JJ said.
- so you ended up riding his pony all day and night-

*10 months later*
When you rode the pony, the condom ended up breaking so you got pregnant. JJ decided to name the baby boy Kody because that sounded like a good name for a pony because you rode his pony which caused Kody.

Read please!

a/n: ok so this is my first imagine every so please lemme know how it is! you can ask me to do imagines for you if you want I just need a boy& scenerio :)

{ y/n’s point of view }

so you and Sammy, your boyfriend, we’re going out to eat with the rest of the Omaha gang. he was picking you up in 2 hours so you showered, got dressed, put on your make- up, and put on your shoes. You wore a white, short, flowy dress with brown sandals. For make-up you wore eyeliner, mascara, and a little blush. Next thing you know Sammy texted you saying he was at your house so you ran outside to his car.

* skip car ride *

So you arrived at the restaurant and you and Sammy were at the end of the table. You ordered a steak because what girl doesn’t like steak. Sammy ordered the same thing because he’s just Sammy and likes steak (lol).
You and Sammy were sitting and talking to all the boys, just waiting for your food when your felt a hand on your upper thigh. You knew it was just Sammy because this isn’t the first time it has happened so you were able to hold in your moans and gasps. Sammy started to rub you through your panties, but little did he know you were on your period. Yes, you were wearing a pad because tampons hurt your vagina and yes you were wearing a white dress because some times you gotta be risky.
” Sammy don’t do that I’m-” you started to say but Sammy cut you off.
“Shh, y/n, I’m trying to listen to their conversation” he replied
” but, but-” you tried saying
“Just shut up and enjoy your pleasurement” Sammy said.
you sighed and just gave up trying. He kept rubbing you through your panties, then he starting fingering your vagina.
Sammy saw food coming so he pulled his fingers out of your vagina and went to go lick them. He saw the blood on his fingers and his eyes got really wide. He looked at you and stared.
” I tried to tell you” you said looking at him.
Now everyone was looking at him and he threw up all over the table. Then, Sammy ran out of the restaurant yelling.
” FUCK MY LIFE” was what he was yelling.
Little did you know that you, the boys, and his family would ever se him again. You all believed he later ran to a strip club, got drunk, and married a stripper.
you on the other hand had ended up marrying big mike and had 6 kids who all had an Afro.



can y’all please go follow my new twitter @aaronbraden_ ! It would mean the world to me and I’ll follow you guys back!